|
|
"Loving someone for the first time is the most unbelievable experiment. We merge in a little too much of everything to create the ideal relationship. We love like there will be no other, with sparks flying here and there, with a confidence that the chemistry will never cease to exist. We love with all our heart, because we were born with a natural instinct to effortlessly fall into it. We learn to love so much and intend to stay in it for the rest of our life because it is the very first time we felt that much happiness. We give everything to keep it alive because it is also the very first time we had become a necessity for someone else’s continued existence. We give and we give, until we could give no more
That is the first time.
Because it had pained us to have given so much the first time in exchange for misfortunes of the heart, we have mindlessly set a bar on how far we can push our limits. The time will come when we will meet someone when chances are, we will feel insufficient when our love can no longer reach its optimum, when our nature to provide is no longer paramount. It is a mind-set we cannot blame ourselves entirely for. There will be inequality in the beginning but we have to give in to the time it will take for our feelings to build around the next person who comes along. Like another experiment, we have to try. If, `for the second time around, it fails, then at least we gave time to make it work."
~
Beautiful and concise words from my beloved friend, Bernice. Why is first love so potent? Why does it set a bar so high that when someone new comes along, feelings of inadequacy creep up? It's like we can't love that new person the same way we did before... Because the first time around, we give so much of ourself because we percieve that something so wonderful can't possibly have an end. Well surprise, surprise, It has an end. | | |
| Early Friday morning (early, as in 1am early), somebody suddenly called me up on my cellphone and told me he was at the gate. THE BEST SURPRISE OF MY LIFE. Haha.
Anyway, yesterday, my mom and I shopped after having lunch at CPK. Hummus, yum. I love Zara. I hoarded lots of items from there, literally hoarded. I love the vibe of their clothing, very high-street but very much classy. Love love love.
I'm lusting for Havaianas Chiso. When will it get here in the Philippines?
I am so looking forward to next week. Batangas trip with my loves (hopefully, hopefully), and on Thursday, Leyte. Yay. Nature tripping - hiking, beach hopping, seafood galore.
Just an update, really have nothing much to write about. Hahaha. | | |
| Five months after that first but final goodbye.
It was once in my grasp, but the choice was never mine to make.
A fleeting glimpse. A whisp of hair grazing my face. Your finger, light as wind, wiping it away. Those sun-drenched afternoons spent together; our limbs, our laughter, all intertwined in unbreakable symmetry. All those firsts that will only happen once in my lifetime...the sweet languor of lips touching for the first time, its awkwardness, its briefness, its unbelievable lightness.
I once held you, and like a child gripping tight to a balloon, I held on to the happiness. What kind of fool would let go? But as simple as your love for me was, your bid for goodbye was plainer. Intentions are never as clear when spoken from the gut.
For the sake of poetry, I am saying goodbye to you. To the opportunity. To my heart's stubborn will to chase after you. Because like a child who has unwillingly let go of a balloon and lost it to a sky's immensity, I just look at you in resignation. Once you have gone, your love will never be near enough for me to grasp again.
For the sake of poetry, I'm saying goodbye to all the lost balloons. They were the loves that slipped out of our fists.
Hey you. Goodbye, I'll miss your weird and cute thumbs.
| | |
| It's been five months since November 16... *chokes*
Hahahaha kidding. Past is past. Anyway, I just Googled myself awhile ago just for the heck of it... There's an actress with the same name as I. The other results weren't half as interesting. Blahblahblah I really have nothing much to say. The past week was fun... went to Caleruega (beautiful church, I'm telling you), ate at GB along with the usual people to celebrate Carlos' birthday, jogging adventures with Lyle, summer shopping, meeting his parents waaaah, etc etc etc.
A promise to self: I'm doing away with fickleness. I swear it. Texting for three hours doesn't mean anything compared to the actual presence of someone else. | | |
| Yesterday was an impromptu CHEAP THRILL DAY.
As we are currently bereft of our student allowance, my friends and I decided to rough it with just about 200 pesos in each of our pockets. SM Bicutan was our chosen destination. The agenda: to watch Moments of Love and eat, as long as we make it fit into our budget. Hahaha.
Like Eni, Chelle and Ber said, ibang trip lang! Haha. But nonetheless, we had fun. The movie wasn't half bad, and of course, Wendy's was perfect. Nothing beats a cup of Frosty and large fries. After which, we crashed at Lyle's place and played the PS1 with Trots, Lyle's little brother. Ordered in Mcdo for dinner, then headed home around 11.
Nothing great, but a summer day spent well, I think.
Today's just bumming out. I might be inspired to go back to the gym next week, hopefully. Anyway, toodles. Night out with the girls. =) | | |
|
|
